Ratchet and Clank as Humans in 2016
by Lane The Bored Writer
Summary: Yeah. The title says it all. This is basically just a retelling of the first Ratchet & Clank game, except Ratchet and Clank are Humans and they're in 2016, using slightly better tech than what we have now. No pairings. Told from Ratchet's POV. Please tell me how I'm doing. I'd like to know so I can become a better writer. I hope you enjoy it!
1. Veldin San Tan Valley, AZ

Chapter 1: Veldin/San Tan Valley, Arizona

I was bored. I'd been sitting in my room with a PlayStation 2 but I'd played all the games and beaten them several times. I live alone, but I used to be an orphan. I ran away from the orphanage when I was fourteen years old, and bought an apartment in a desert neighborhood in Arizona, called Johnson Ranch in the city of San Tan Valley. I used to go walk around a lot, but I've seen it all. And my job as a mechanic wasn't fun either. But one day, my life changed entirely. A new kid sort of… appeared. I don't entirely know where he came from, but he was somehow different. Smarter. And he was really kind of short and scrawny, too. He said his name was Robert, but his friends and mother called him Clank. He got the nickname because he liked to build things and often used a small hammer that made a "clank" on the metal he was building with. We shook hands and I told him I didn't really have a name at the orphanage, but they called me Ratchet because I liked to work on cars and I needed a ratchet tool to do that, even though the tool I used most was a wrench. But we kind of became friends, especially after he helped me fix the starting mechanism in my car that I'd built.

I didn't know what was wrong, but he took a look at it and said, "You're missing a piece of the ignition system. You need an ignition switch, and I've got one. I'll give it to you if you take me here." He pointed to an area on the GPS system in the car. It was near California, about 3 hours of travel.

"Deal," I said, and he put the ignition switch in place.

"Ready?" I asked Clank, with a set of tools in the back, mainly a giant wrench that I'd invented, called the Omniwrench. Clank got in the passenger's side and I left the driveway. We started a conversation, and after a while, I sort of forgot we were in a car.

I took both my hands off the wheel to help me talk, and Clank said, "Please, Ratchet, return your hands to the steering wheel. You are making me uncomfortable." I looked over at him and noticed, for the first time, his freckled face, black hair, and bright green eyes. He had brown hair and was wearing a gray shirt with jeans and small black shoes. I looked back at the road, but I'd stared at him so long that he'd noticed. In turn, he stared back at me, probably looking at my blond hair, grease-stained shirt and greenish cargo pants, and possibly even my green eyes. They were darker than his, but still green. I couldn't stand this awkward silence anymore.

"So where are you from?"

"I… don't know," Clank said. "The last place I remember was a factory where I found a flash drive with something strange on it."

Clank and I drove in silence for a while until my stomach grumbled. I stopped at a Quiktrip to get some food and got Clank a drink and a pretzel, per his request. When I got back to the car, Clank was waiting for me and we drove off again. We finally got to the small town around noon. The place seemed pretty welcoming, with a sign that said Welcome to Tobruk Crater. Enjoy your stay!

"Why are we here again?" I asked Clank.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Sorry," Clank said. He put the flash drive in a slot I had installed while I was building the car. A video played on the navigation screen. I watched as a rather short man in a neatly pressed brown suit addressed his audience – us. He had greasy black hair that was tied back in a ponytail, and he had a huge, smug grin on his face. He looked like a typical businessman. I could already tell he was up to something.

"Hello, citizens of Tobruk Crater," he said formally, "I am Chairman Drek. The people of my country have a small problem. Our cities are polluted and overpopulated and have become virtually uninhabitable. My troops will be evacuating your city and taking it over so that it may become the capitol of the new country I am creating. Then, using technology you couldn't possibly understand, we will be moving choice cities from around the world to this location. Thank you for your time."

"Cut!" someone screamed from behind the camera.

"And if you don't like it," Drek continued, "You can take your whining, sniveling, snot-nosed populations, form a line behind me, and kiss my – Is it still on? Well turn it off, you idiot!"

I looked at Clank.

"The people in those cities are hosed!"

"I know," Clank said. "Will you help me attempt to stop Drek before he can carry out his plans?" I heard gunfire and a few fighter jets overhead. One of them peppered my car with bullets and launched a missile straight at it.

* * *

Author's Notes: I'm sorry, but this chapter really stinks. If you decide to quit reading this, I'm fine with that. This was really just an idea that happened because racesolar on Deviantart drew up a perfect Human Ratchet. You should go look them up. They have some amazing art there. But anyways, let's get to my evaluation.

What did I do good on?: I think I'm doing OK writing from Ratchet's POV and quoting the game, but that's about it.

What did I fail on?: That intro. *Shudders* I didn't include how Ratchet met Clank (or Robert, whatever you want to call him), or how Ratchet had escaped the orphanage, and I didn't include half the details of the first level. Hell, I didn't even include where Clank came from! *Facepalms*

Tell me what you guys think! Please, I need some reviews to see how I'm doing and what I can fix if it's wrong!


	2. Novalis Some Random Arizona City Part 1

"Out!" I yelled, throwing open the door as fast as I could and jumping out of the car onto the warm pavement. I saw Clank jump out on the other side, and he hit the pavement just before the missile destroyed my car and turned it into nothing but a burned, blackened metal carcass. All my hard work and any spare money I had over the past few years, GONE. Just like that. I tried not to scream.

"Well, looks like we're not leaving the way we came in," I said, looking at my car, resisting the urge to cry. Instead I pushed myself up and dusted myself off. Clank stood up and walked over to me.

"Perhaps one of the residents will loan us a car," he said with a hopeful look on his face.

"If there are any left," I said. "Let's go." After we walked for a while, we came across an area where there was a drop off with a small elevator. There was a cave system with a bunch of flowing water to our right. I looked over the cliff and saw a bunch of citizens being moved. If they resisted, they were shot. My body heated up and my fists clenched. Drek couldn't just do that. It was just wrong. I looked at the caves, and decided that was our best bet. There were no soldiers that I could see.

"This way looks like it's our best shot so far," I told Clank. I walked towards it and when I got there, I was ankle deep in water flowing into a grate at the start. I started to walk further, but the current got too strong and swept me off my feet, all the way back to the beginning. I stood up and noticed some climbable rock pillars. Clank noticed them, too.

"Ratchet, we should try climbing those," said Clank. I walked over to the first one and started climbing. Living in an area where there were a few mountains was really coming in handy now. Clank, however, looked like he was having a bit of trouble. Once I got to the top, I lowered my wrench, which somehow hadn't been damaged. I was going to use it if we got into trouble and needed a weapon. Clank grabbed the wrench and I pulled him up while he walked up the wall. Once he was up, I put my wrench on my back via a locking device I'd made for it. Then I looked at the obstacles ahead. It was really just a few jumps from rock platform to rock platform and a jump onto some kind of pumping mechanism that went up and down. When it went up, I noticed a doorway that was just a jump away from it. This was going to be fun. I jumped to the closest platform, but it was moist and I slipped, almost going over the edge. I was lucky to be able to hold onto the ledge and pull myself up. Thank god for leather gloves. I'd bought a pair at the Dollar Store when I was younger and wore them pretty much everywhere, all the time. I was a little more careful on the next jump, and I didn't slip. Clank wasn't able to jump the distance, though, and had I not grabbed his hand mid-air, he would have fallen. Judging by his scrawny form, he wouldn't have been able to hold on to the ledge. I pulled him up and stepped up to a higher point on the rock we were on. The platform was still going up and down. It came down, and I jumped. Almost as soon as my feet hit it, it shot up so fast it launched me into the air. I landed just before it went down again, and jumped to the open door. I watched as Clank did the same and met me in a small corridor that opened into a larger room. The first thing I noticed was the small – were those robots? No way. But whatever they were, they had glowing green eyes, razor sharp teeth, stingers, and wings. And they did not look friendly. One tried to bite me, and as a result I moved away from it, unfastened my wrench from its position on my back, and whacked it right between its eyes. The way its eyes flickered and got darker and the metallic noise it made when it slammed against the wall told me it was definitely a robot. But how? Robots in 2016? I smacked the remaining two, and shuddered.

"Well," I said with a little shake in my voice, "That was different."

"Indeed it was," Clank replied. To the left, there was a climbing area that led to another room. The first step was almost a foot taller than I was. That's saying a lot, too, because I was 5' 5". I jumped and started to climb it. I turned to see if Clank needed any help, but first I saw something glint on a ledge near the ceiling. There was a platform that led to it. I jumped down from where I was and actually noticed two walls, relatively close together. The beginning of the platform was at the top of one of the walls. I stood at the base of one of the walls, turned, and jumped at the opposite wall. Once I made contact with my hands and feet, I kicked off the wall and turned so I could repeat the process on the other wall. I did this until I reached the top, where I was able to walk over and examine the glinting object.

"What is it?" Clank asked.

"I don't know," I said. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. Then I walked over to where I had wall-jumped. I swung my legs over the edge and lowered myself so that I was hanging from my fingertips. I turned my head so I could see the ground, where Clank was patiently waiting. It was quite a drop. But it was my only choice. I let go and braced myself for a hard landing. I had pushed myself away from the wall. Dropping was a huge mistake.

"OW!" I yelled as my feet hit the ground. I bent my knees on the landing, but it still hurt.

"Are you hurt?" Clank said, rushing over to me.

"I'm fine," I said, still kneeling. "Let's go." I stood up and started to climb the giant step again. Clank managed to climb it with no problems whatsoever. The next two steps were smaller, and I walked up them with ease. Once I got to the top, the automatic door opened, revealing a room with a crevice in the middle. There were two robots about my size in the room, each with a blaster fitted on their arm. I walked towards the crevice and noticed that it was extremely deep, and if someone fell down it, it would mean certain death. There was a thin stream of water flowing at the bottom. I jumped the gap, and Clank did the same. That was when the robots started to shoot at us. _Well, I did want something different_, I thought. I dodged the shots while Clank ran and hid behind a pillar. One of the robots was reloading his blaster. I saw the opportunity and I took it. I yanked my wrench off my back again and brought it down on the robot's head with a loud "clang". It was done for, but its counterpart had just finished reloading. I ran at it, doing a zigzag pattern so as not to get hit. By the time I got there, it had run out of shots. That was my queue to destroy it. Instead of bringing my wrench down, I brought it sideways, expecting it to cut the robot in half. It didn't work, but it pushed it over near the crevice. I ran over before it could regain its balance and kicked it over the edge. I watched it fall, emotionless, before it slammed against the bottom in a fiery explosion. I walked over to where Clank was, still hiding behind the pillar.

"You can come out now," I said. I turned around as he came out and noticed a platform, just like the one that led us into the previous room. It was also moving up and down, and led into another small corridor with closed doors at the end. I jumped on it again, expecting the force this time. I used it to my advantage and ended up halfway across the corridor. The doors opened. I walked through, wrench at the ready, with Clank following not far behind. The room had no enemies in it. It consisted of three wide walkways with slightly wider canals of deep water. There were steps leading down to the water on both sides, in case someone fell in. I came up with a plan. I ran to the end of the first canal, where the stairs were, stepped back, ran, and jumped. I landed on the steps, just like I'd hoped. Clank tried the same thing, but didn't make it quite as far. He barely landed on the bottom step and almost lost his balance. I pulled him back and started to walk to the other end of this walkway to perform another jump. I jumped a little more confidently this time and made it further. Clank made it onto the steps with no assistance this time. There were more platform things going up and down, with the exception that there were two right next to each other. When one went down, the other would go up, and they would balance out in the middle when the other went down. Luckily, the lower one was low enough to climb on. I got on it and it shot up. I aimed for the second platform, landed, and it went up. While I was in the air, I noticed a very narrow catwalk that led to yet _another_ set of doors. I landed on the catwalk, and it shook a little. I moved and watched Clank fly into the air and land next to me. We walked carefully along the catwalk, and the doors opened for us. Another short hallway with another set of doors at the end. I was_ not_ looking forward to the trip back. The next set of doors opened to reveal an overweight man who appeared to be fixing some broken pipes.

My humorous side got the best of me, so I said, "Look, plumber's crack," and snickered. The man whipped around and brandished a pipe wrench.

"What did you just say?" he said, threateningly waving the wrench.

"I said, 'Look, the plumber's back'," I said, trying to cover it up before that pipe wrench met my face.

"Alright, wise guy, shouldn't you be on one of those escape transports?"

"Escape transports?" I said.

"News flash!" the guy waved his arms, "Bombings all over the city! The escape transports are taking all the rich folks out of this god darn city!"

"So why aren't you on one?" I asked.

"Socioeconomic disparity," he said, sounding angry.

"What?"

"He hasn't got enough money," Clank translated.

"Working people have to wait for the military to save us!" The Plumber spat.

"Got anything that's worth a lot of money?" I said.

"I got this thing," he said, holding up a small floating robot by its neck. "Shows two weirdoes ditching their ship. It's got coordinates, too."

"An Infobot," Clank said, looking at me, "Ratchet, we could use that." I felt the weight of that glinting thing I'd pocketed earlier. I pulled it out and showed it to him.

"Any idea what this is?" I asked.

"Oh, you want to keep that," he said. "That's a Gadgetron Weapons Pass. That gives you the right to buy any weapon you choose, if you have the right amount of Bolts."

"Bolts?" I asked, putting the card in my wallet. It might come in handy.

"Yeah," The Plumber said. "Our city's currency just changed a few days ago. Instead of dollars and cents, we have Bolts now."

"I remember the currency had just changed to Bolts before I left where I came from, too," Clank said.

"Is there an exchange anywhere?" I asked, pulling out my wallet and looking at the now useless hundred dollar bill I had.

"I can go exchange it, and we'll trade. You get the Infobot, I get a ticket outta here," The Plumber replied. I reluctantly forked over my hard-earned money, and he gave up the Infobot. He ran to a nearby sewer pipe flowing with sparkling clean water and jumped in, sliding through it.

"Did he just slide down the sewer pipe?" I asked with a disgusted look on my face.

* * *

Author's Notes: Oh god, this chapter. WOW. I think it's a little long, don't you? I tried to add a little more description and still make it interesting, less confusing/annoying/that kind of thing.

What did I do good on?: I think I did good at working in how Ratchet's car was destroyed and also the currency change. It's so much simpler to me to use Bolts instead of dollars.

What did I fail on?: Let's see... just about EVERYTHING. But tell me what you guys think! I aim to please.


End file.
